Well I feel like I've been growing a lot since college in the shyness area. I mean I'm not being as shy as usual. But I am definately still reserved, and I'm coming to see that as not being such a bad thing. I pride myself on being careful of the people I let in my life, and how deep someone gets to know me. I realize this has pros and cons, but overall I'm okay with it. I feel like my roommates have a little bit of my personality, but not nearly the full thing. They haven't experienced the deeper,more emotional side of me, and why do they need to right now? I mean realationships are just forming. Why should I expose myself to them now? There's no need for it really. Why do they need to know about the things I think about, feel, experience? I mean if it doesn't pertain to them I really don't need to tell 'em. I am so much more than what I portray. If they want to know more I feel like they'll ask, and if they don't ask I shouldn't have to tell em. Why waste my time expressing myself to someone who couldn't care less, who didn't have an interest to begin with.
In another aspect I'm reserved about the general people I associate myself with too. I mean birds of a feather and all that jazz. This is collge, I make the decisions of who I want to keep company with. I don't HAVE to be friends with anyone. This is a completely empowering feeling. I mean, if someone isn't on their shit, I'm not fuckin with 'em. Yeah I got some goals I want to achieve, but for the most part I'm doin pretty good. I just know that the people I want to hang around are going to reflect me and I don't want to reflect anything but the best.
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