Its crazy that I still love her so much. Maybe that's it maybe because I never say her name, I just say her. Okay; Nisha. I still love Nisha so much. We've been over forever. We broke up when I was 16, I'm almost 18. Its so fucking pitiful. Okay maybe its not, I'm not like totally incapable of caring about someone else but she's always on my mind. I'm always worrying about her, and there's still songs to this day that will make me tear up becuase I always think about her when I listen to them. Sometimes I don't even know if I've moved on or not. I guess I have mentally, but not emotionally? Idk, I'm in a relationship and I still think about her. Not nearly as much as I used to though. I guess some days are worse than others. It just gets discouraging in this battle to move on with my life when some days I get through without thinking about her then I hear a song or see something or hear something about a friggin part of DC where she lives and I'm back to thinking about her. I wish I could not care. I wish I could hate her and move on. I want to move on. I would rather harbor hate than have to deal with seeing her in the face of every girl that wants me to move on.
Today I learned what real love is. fml.
"Your face will be the reason I smile
but I will not see what I can not have forever
I'll always love ya I hope you feel the same
-Maxwell
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