Aug 12, 2009
College Thoughts: Part I
So I was chilling with the bestie at her house the other night and its me her and our friend Lisa. We're all going away to college and isssh. So Meesh's brother comes in the room and was kinda kidding with us then he spit some real knowledge about how its gonna be in college. Just tellin us that we're gonna change and our friends are gonna change, and when we come back we can't expect to see the same kids we did when we left. So to me the deepest thing he said was "there's gonna be times when people just drop off the face of the earth". I felt like that was some true ass, real ass shit. Motherfuckers I thought I was super cool with in high school have fucking disappeared. I'm cool with it though. I mean I didn't stress it at all really. But I guess it was lurking in the back of my mind because my crew, like the people I spent all my time with in high school, were doing all this stuff without me. I mean I'm not one to get all bitchy like 'why yall aint invite me' cause I realize they got different relationships with each other and third parties that I'm not aware of, I just didn't know it was all gonna end so fast. So when he said that it was really like an eye-opener. They say that when you graduate high school you're gonna tell everybody you'll keep in touch but you really won't, they say your college friends are the ones you'll keep the rest of your life. Well I'm just the one for trying to upset the status quo lol. I feel like if I keep in mind the fact that there's a lot going on for everybody; and not take things to heart when people don't hit me up, I'll be able to have at least threads of relationships with my high school friends and I'm pretty sure after freshman year we can work on rebuilding it. As long as the lines of communication stay open through the year we should be good.
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i know how you feel, E. a looooong time ago, even in high school, i felt left out of everything. the people i would talk to in school, i rarely saw outside of school. it was disorienting. we joke, laugh, share, and cry in school but it's like as soon as the bell rings, we don't know each other anymore. at least, no one knew me. i've always faulted myself for that though, though i can't be sure if it really was my "fault."
ReplyDeletethere are people who i know, without a question, will always be in my life. no ifs ands or buts about it. i don't believe in unconditional love - if love didn't have any conditions, it wouldn't be earned, it would just be had, and that's not what it's about. my love has conditions for most, but there are also those people i couldn't stop loving if i tried. those are the people i would happily go out of my way (and it's never out of my way) to stay in contact with. and you're one of them.
to tell you the truth, i'm always a little jealous of your other friends because they get more of you than i do. i've known you for how long, now? why aren't we surgically attached at the hip? high school came and we became different, and i find it kind of ironic that when we have to part is when we're really starting to sync up.
but i'm not worried about you. :) you're one of those friends who are in it for life, not just a season. i just know it!
much love. <3